Mayor Holt to Provide Edibles to Citizens in Lieu of Stay-at-Home Order

December 12 Jake Irl Park

OKLAHOMA CITY – Oklahoma City Mayor David Holt held a press conference Tuesday outlining a novel response to the recent COVID-19 outbreak. 
“I think it’s time we start thinking outside the box...,” Mayor Holt said during the press conference. “The hotbox,” he added. 

“No one wants to go out when they’re three Cheeba Chews deep, so we’ll be providing the edibles at no cost to the citizens of Oklahoma City. As much as I love restricting your freedoms, I love hearing how much people love me even more. I think this is a great compromise, and I can’t wait to read my Twitter mentions later.” 

When questioned on how he would fund the measure, Holt pushed back, “Why are we even talking about money? We’ve got Biden Bucks coming in hot.” 

The announcement comes after an unprecedented spike in positive COVID-19 hysteria not only in Oklahoma City, but the entire nation, and Holt is looking to blaze trails in his coronavirus response. The move to provide edible cannabis to citizens is a first for the country, and may be what officials need to do to keep both sides of the political aisle at bay.  

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